What Does Seeing a Dead Person Alive in My Dream Mean? While ordering food at a restaurant, ask the server for their top two dishes they like (or that people or), then choose something completely different. By exchanging share-worthy texts of course! Wanna do something similar this winter?”, “How on earth do you do that?” (Girl – what?) Love, Moth” is one of the funniest texts we have seen. Place a walkie-talkie in your mailbox and scream at everyone who walks by. If hamburger makes a meatloaf does laziness make me-a-loaf? So when this person trying to sell a bike was asked how low they would go on it, meaning the price of course, they instead told them how low of a speed they would be able to ride on the bike. Wanna know what’s on the menu? So happy you’re such a bad influence! Are you an appendix? Crawl away slowly. Would a crocodile snap at a snapping turtle? Thanks for being my best friend. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Sorry, something seems to be wrong with my phone. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”. Since basketball is named such why isn’t golf named golfball? Why is a necklace called such, it doesn’t have any lace attached. Of course kids have better knowledge of technology, meaning they can fight back in a more ruthless way. Why aren’t shorts half the price of pants? If kissing is the language of love then we have a lot to talk about. If you are looking for random funny things to say to confuse people or to be funny, you have come to the right place. Gopher. You can use them as starters. Yell out “hey you with the pants on” and see how many people turn around. You must have heard that girls like the funny guys the best. Or did Grandma end up with real beef towards Maddie after that text exchange? Should I wear a short skirt tonight or a really short skirt? CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Rachel describes the situation perfectly herself: “fter knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done.” Rachel may not be able to undo the text message, nor what Sarah now thinks of her. Regardless, text message exchanges can be hilarious, whether intended to be or not. What a world. Although Susan had to re-send the correct pictures, she now has over 18,000 fans on social media. So how could we possibly blame them for putting the brilliant plan into action? My full name is Marvelous. Go to a public bathroom with chocolate on your hands, reach under the stall and ask for toilet paper. If you are on a diet how do you feel about the first three letters in the word? Wait, what? Go up to random people at the mall, show them your ID, and say, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?”. “Me too” the note read, simply stating that they too like Chipotle. Go to an electronic store with a banana and say that you want to upgrade to an apple. When someone asks you if you know what time it is, say yes and walk away. Thank god I’m wearing gloves because you’re too hot to handle. Covering the hottest movie and TV topics that fans want. Girls fall for you, even more, when you make them laugh so why not make laugh the most important person in your life! I just bought a thing from Victoria’s Secret…want a private runway show, or should I save it for someone else? While ordering food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever and then order a steak. Hey, Sexy! We wish Maddie wouldn't be like that either, Grandma. If you are in jail can you ever collect a get out of jail card for free? 11. I dare you to bring your sexy ass over here and watch a chick flick with me. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You wanna workout? How can you scoot along if you don’t have a scooter? As time has passed modern technology has taken over for a lot of old practices, which must include the library at this point. Where to Sell Comic Books And Make Bank Doing It Yo!!! Well, we have a few funny lines that can help you with that. Maddie's Grandmother did not appreciate being talked to like that, especially when she was simply trying to find out if she wanted to be involved in dinner. But then, the way and manner you say them, can add some humor to it. Write a note saying “sorry about the damage on your car” and put it on a random car. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. I have no idea what she's talking about. But on the bright side, she made us all cry at her mistake. 43. We've all been frustrated with people we don't know or don't like before, but it's not quite as common that the person contacting us is....Grandma! I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. How about we take a walk to remember and make things better!”, “Girl, I know what you did last summer. For some reason, your number isn’t in it. 45. Enough to break the ice. You might not necessarily need to take your friends or family to that comedy show and pay a huge amount of money just to laugh for some few minutes; it’s totally possible to learn how to say funny and meaningful things that would make people desire to have you around. What a mess! I told you seventeen times.”, On an elevator, ask someone, “Are you here for the dog food tasting?”, Offer someone a piece of gum and say, “It’s not what you think.”, When someone asks a favor, say, “After all these years, am I still beholden to you?”, When someone asks the time, say, “Time for a piece of porcupine piñata.”. 50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. Because laughter makes the friendship stronger. All teenagers salute you, Brendan. You’re crazy. And with friends, anytime! What Is The Difference Between Undergraduate And Graduate And Why It Matters! Okay, go!”, Hold out your hand and say, “Would you be kind enough to hold this while I go out for a walk?”, ‘I can’t decide what I want more, food or you? Below is Bergeron’s growing list of funny and random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the entire universe.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'bergeronknows_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',108,'0','0'])); If you enjoy having fun then this list is for you. "Don't forget that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Do you know anyone? 35. Super glue a quarter to the floor and see how many people try to pick it up. How about doing some community work by sparing some space for the needy? "You're a warrior, and your warrior name is... Beyoncé Pad Thai." Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Laughter, mind you, is the best stress buster you will ever come across. One must feel for poor Joey, though, as he said he was “just hangin” with Natalie, and reminisced about having Starbucks bought for him. Can you help me take them off? One can only imagine the reaction Caroline had when she went to check for a response and saw she sent back the Address rather than a chill little “hey” to her friend. Even though I love wearing my Granny panties, tonight I’m wearing something a little riskier. 24. 3. As someone who is glued to their phone, I love it when I get a text out of the blue. While the texts led to an unnecessary number of trips being made by the family, it also led to an abundance of delicious fast food for the texter. This text message mistake has us laughing and crying at the same time. If you name your daughter Angel, aren’t you afraid she will fly away? We can’t. The deadpan delivery of “Dad is dead, you’re next. Friends are the most priceless gifts that the universe can ever offer to us. 41. So, I looked online at the restaurant’s menu. And it’s the best compliment when someone says you are funny. What does the 19 mean in Covid? Dad jokes thrive on facepalms and “oh no” responses from those that see them, so this one reached new levels of success. "Saw your Instagram post, and just wanted to let you know I'm telling everyone from now on that my best friend is a model superstar. You’re clingy. Just throwing out ideas. You know this text is still hilarious because it was clearly sent from an iPhone4, meaning the dad joke has not grown stale in a number of years. There’s a huge sale going on in my bedroom right now.